EvJens

         I am choosing my inquiry essay over my rhetorical analysis essay about energy drinks and my research article about attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder because I believe my audience will be more interested and curious – it would also be the most fun for me to present. My inquiry essay is about how I went from classical ballet to powerlifting. I intend to use a lot of visuals of myself as well as professional dancers and powerlifters to help explain the differences between the two besides the obvious ones. One of the major challenges I think I will face is making sure I keep my presentation interesting and informative - without being too specific, which could bore my audience, but also making sure that I am specific enough so that I have substance in my presentation and my audience can see at least a hint of the depth of my inquiry essay. My primary focus will probably be of comparing and contrasting these two very different activities because I...

The Intro: Your introduction pulls the reader in because you introduce such a silly idea that seems so general but then you relate it to something so basic and well-known in a way I wouldn’t have thought of - it brings in some humor. Your topic was interesting because a lot of people know what meditation is, but they don’t they have a shallow understanding and your essay delves in deeper. Although short, your introduction made me want to read on to learn more about the claim you made that meditation actually improves one’s life even though it consists of basically doing nothing. Organization: Your article is organized pretty well. This is still a rough draft so there is not much to say but you definitely hit on what meditation is from multiple perspectives and the how, what, when, where, and why by talking about different ways to practice meditation and what it physically does to our body. You may want to add more examples of statistics and research. Voice and Audience: This artic...

The Intro: A biography is an interesting choice! You do a good job at pulling the reader in with what happened to be an ironic statement. Your essay caught my attention with that hilarious graduation quote, which brought back my memories that were made half a year ago at my own graduation. I want to read on because I am interested to hear more about Edwin Hubble’s extraordinary and likely successful life. Both brilliant and physically adept! I thought your introduction was good because it got me interested while also keeping what you will reveal in your essay a mystery, leading me to want to read on. I have no suggestions. Organization: I thought that your intro was good at giving information on the type of character that Hubble has, and then by saying he has a whole list of experiences and achievements in life makes him very impressive and gets the reader intrigued without giving away all of your information. The transition into your next paragraph was great because it brought in b...

Imagine having to take a pill every day of your life not really knowing what is in it or how it works, but knowing that it will “help” and it is “good for you”. In second grade, my mother took me to a children’s psychologist to get a baseline of my mental health and intelligence. Where I am from, second graders take a test that will either place them in “GT” classes, which meant “gifted and talented,” or regular classes. After getting almost a perfect score on the test, my mother wanted to make sure that I would be able to handle GT classes as sometimes I was slow in my work and processing skills. The psychologist determined that I had high intelligence and would likely excel in the GT program, but that I might run into issues down the line.  I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), more commonly referred to as Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). At this point, no actions were taken and I continued on, accepting a place in the GT program. Some peopl...