B24: Peer Edit Research Article #2

The Intro: Your introduction pulls the reader in because you introduce such a silly idea that seems so general but then you relate it to something so basic and well-known in a way I wouldn’t have thought of - it brings in some humor. Your topic was interesting because a lot of people know what meditation is, but they don’t they have a shallow understanding and your essay delves in deeper. Although short, your introduction made me want to read on to learn more about the claim you made that meditation actually improves one’s life even though it consists of basically doing nothing.
Organization: Your article is organized pretty well. This is still a rough draft so there is not much to say but you definitely hit on what meditation is from multiple perspectives and the how, what, when, where, and why by talking about different ways to practice meditation and what it physically does to our body. You may want to add more examples of statistics and research.
Voice and Audience: This article is engaging because it gets the reader to slow down and think about his own life. The subject discussed in this article can benefit anyone and everyone and you simplify a lot of the information to make it easily understandable by many. The article kept me interested; it was not too dry, and you kept your paragraphs pretty short which was nice.
Mechanics: I made a few corrections but otherwise just read the essay over in your head.

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