B7: CRA Peer Edit #2

I thought that your paper was very well written and easy to read. You used a lot of transitions, good vocabulary, and varied sentence structure, which helped the paper flow and kept it interesting. I liked how you explained rhetoric in the first paragraph – but it was kind of weird how you said “_____, also known as pathos” at the end of your essay after using pathos throughout your writing. I liked how you briefly but thoroughly explained each of your sources – providing sufficient context. I think that your conclusion could use a few more sentences but that you summed your thoughts up nicely. You could mention more about the two sides of Obamacare in your introductory paragraph in order to provide some information and context before you lay out evidence of negativity from your Twitter source. I didn’t write this on your paper so I will say it here: I am not the best at English, so take everything I say with a grain of salt. I did ask my amazing roommate about capitalization though and I believe you do need to capitalize Republican because otherwise you are not referring to the actual conservative party - you are just referring to people of a republic in general. We could totally be wrong though. I think you did a great job at comparing the different sources rhetoric and explaining that each can still be effective in their own way. If you just make a few minor fixes and add a couple of additional sentences to your conclusion I think that you should be good. I enjoyed reading your paper because it was easy to follow without feeling redundant. Great job!


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