B6: CRA Peer Editing Response #1

I thought you did a good job at explaining what each source is in general and analyzing all parts of each source. I think that overall you appropriately addressed the prompt/task we were assigned. I tried to highlight some parts I liked by writing a compliment as a comment. I think the conclusion and introduction could use one or two more sentences to sum up what you want to know or what you want to prove and then the overarching results of your analysis - what you learned, or again proved. I thought you chose a great topic and talked about Twitter very well. One suggestion I have is that you vary your word choice. You used a lot of good vocabulary but some words became repetitive. I have certain words that I know I use a lot like “shows” and “trying” so when I am basically done with my paper I do *Ctrl F* so I can search for those words in my paper and highlight them. Then I use a thesaurus and go back and figure what synonyms fit best in each sentence containing one of the words that I have a habit of overusing when drafting essays. Also, I just skimmed over your quotes but setting up context before mentioning events that occur in your quotes - like Trump’s tweet - may help set up your evidence better. I was kind of confused where you were getting stuff from since you only cited a small phrase of the tweet. Honestly, I’m still kind of unsure what is going on in my paper, so I’m not sure if I can really help but let me know if you have questions. My draft is certainly rough too - just be sure to read through your essay and make sure everything makes sense before turning it in.

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